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Smart or Deceitful?

April 20th, 2008 at 07:17 am

I take care of all the day to day household finances - the checkbook, savings, bills, etc. DH pretty much takes care of our measly LT savings. He generally has no interest in the checking account and is happy to let me handle all of it.

So I have a confession to make. I always tell DH there is less in savings than there really is. Yesterday I fudged the number by about $800. He is a spender and if he thought we had 'extra' money around, he would find a use for it. I like to have that cushion in addition to our regular emergency fund for expenses that, while are not emergencies, we need/want the money for. A little security blanket if you will. That way, if he does overspend on something it really won't hurt as much. But I'm not going to tell him this b/c he'll justify his purchases with 'well, we have a cushion to absorb this.' Anway, I kind of look at it like when you tell a person who is consistently late that something starts 15 min earlier than the 'real' time so that he/she is on time. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty, but most of the time I pat myself on the back for thinking ahead. It's not like I'm hoarding the money for myself. What do you think, is it wrong of me to do this?

Oh, and I found 15 cents in the laundry yesterday to add to my challange.
New total = $26.06

10 Responses to “Smart or Deceitful?”

  1. Amber Says:

    I know it is wrong, and I am not saying lying to your hubby is right...but I agree. If he is a spender I would do the same. Actually I have my ex was like that if he knew there was $2 extra dollars he would spend it even it meant that the rent wasn't paid, I would always pretend we did not have it

  2. NJDebbie Says:

    Smart or Deceitful? In my opinion you are SMART!

  3. sillyoleme Says:

    It sounds like you know your husband's spending habits well, and you're not doing this for selfish reasons. It would be different if you were telling him you had less money just to go spend it yourself! Big Grin
    Anyway, I wouldn't worry about it, as long as it's not effecting your lives one way or the other, you need to do what's best for your long-term financial future. Smile

  4. Ima saver Says:

    My first husband would spend every dime we had, so I did not tell him what I had in savings either! Thank goodness this husband is on the same page as I am with money.

  5. Nic Says:

    Why not leave a $100-$200 cushion in the joint account and open a separate account w/the "extra cushion" money. That way,when he does ask you can show him the balance w/o him knowing exactly how much is in the bank.

  6. DeniseNTexas Says:

    Okay, so call me the stick in the mud but I think it's wrong, not smart. Oh, I understand the reason you do it but it's still deceitful and wrong.

    Go ahead and throw rotten tomatoes at me now! Wink

  7. Petunia Says:

    It's really a tough place to be, isn't it Jen? Not on the same page as your spouse, and not (at least in my case) able to work with him for a solution that will make you both comfortable.

    While I would agree with DeniseNTexas on this, I also don't blame you for not being entirely forthcoming. Amy Dacyczn talked about spendthrift spouses in one of the Tightwad Gazette books, and one of the strategies was to have a savings account that the spendthrift spouse did not have access to.

  8. Broken Arrow Says:

    Yeah, it's deceitful... but not in a bad way. To me, it's more along the lines of lying to cover up a surprise birthday party. You know it's technically wrong, but its purpose is benign....

    Even a simpleton like me admits that the world isn't always black and white. Big Grin

    But, surely there must be another way to handle this? Perhaps locking the money away... in a CD or retirement account or something? Then you don't have to lie. Because the money is not literally there? Big Grin

  9. Livingalmostlarge Says:

    Yep Deceitful. But it's not horrible. Just keep it in cash if you want! Smile

  10. CouponAddict Says:

    Smart or Deceitful, I really hate to say one or the other because you are being put in the situtation where you are having to cover your "bottom".

    I would say you are "Doing what needs to be done". Everyone knows you dont give alcohol to a alcoholic, so why do some people think it is wrong to keep money from a gambler. Isn't that what someone who cant prevent themselves from spending is. They are gambling that they will make enough money to pay the bills next month.

    I understand the situtation you are in, if my DH asks how much money we have it means he wants something and he doesn't want to use his MAD Money. I always mentally subtract out any bills for the month that have not been paid yet.

    I am almost 100% positive he knows I do this though, because, one it takes me a while to figure out the amount in my head, two he knows I have to have the bills be paid on time, and thirdly if I say we have XX he spends that amount to the t.

    Are you sure he doesn't know you make sure you both are in a confortable place with the savings balance?

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